PARENT COACH--ALISON ASTAIR
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PARENT QUESTION: (POTTY TRAINING ISSUE) If you don't mind we would like to get your advice once more: our daughter 2.5 years old has been potty trained for some time now. It works fine and she goes to the bathroom on her own. But that is only for peeing; if she needs to do the "big business" she still wants a diaper. We tried everything and don't want to pressure her more than necessary, because that is when she will hold it in and gets tummy aches. What can we do?

ANSWER:  For most children her age it's a control issue.  The more you want her to go, the more she realizes her power and won't do it.  She knows what to do and how to do it already so I would just drop it and let her know that when she's ready to go to let you know, then just drop it.  Don't mention it again and when she asks for a diaper, just point to where they are.  Have her bring it to you and then don't make eye contact or any comments when putting it on.  The less attention you give it, the less power it has! When you change her, do the same.  No attention.  Once you're done with the changing just resume to your normal mood.  Don't look mad or annoyed or impatient about this.  Just don't give the whole diaper thing any attention and don't look like you care. Of course you do care but pulling that power away is usually the most important thing.  At times there are other reasons that children won't poop on the potty but power is the main one!  Let me know how it goes and if you feel that there are any other things I can help you with.


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