PARENT QUESTION: I try to be firm with my almost three year old but I feel like I’m being mean. I’m having the hardest time because when I’m firm about something and he cries, I apologize! I know it’s ridiculous to do but I have a hard time with this. HELP!
ANSWER: You’re not alone in feeling this way. Many parents have a hard time disciplining their child because they say they feel mean. It may help to look at it this way: Kindness shows respect for the child and his uniqueness. Firmness shows respect for what the situation needs. You can be kind and firm at the same time!
Discipline=Teaching
Discipline and punishment are different. As long as you’re not screaming and yelling, know that you are “teaching” through discipline. Disciplining your child and teaching him the “rules of the road” help him build social skills and fit into the world around him.
So if you’re really just trying to teach your child the right thing to do by not allowing certain things and having to say no at times, look at yourself as a teacher and tell yourself this is benefiting my child. Crying is normal when a child can’t get his way but it doesn’t mean that you should allow it to work! Sometimes a child just needs to cry when they are mad or disappointed. It’s part of life and part of his developing social skills. Don’t be so hard on yourself!
ANSWER: You’re not alone in feeling this way. Many parents have a hard time disciplining their child because they say they feel mean. It may help to look at it this way: Kindness shows respect for the child and his uniqueness. Firmness shows respect for what the situation needs. You can be kind and firm at the same time!
Discipline=Teaching
Discipline and punishment are different. As long as you’re not screaming and yelling, know that you are “teaching” through discipline. Disciplining your child and teaching him the “rules of the road” help him build social skills and fit into the world around him.
So if you’re really just trying to teach your child the right thing to do by not allowing certain things and having to say no at times, look at yourself as a teacher and tell yourself this is benefiting my child. Crying is normal when a child can’t get his way but it doesn’t mean that you should allow it to work! Sometimes a child just needs to cry when they are mad or disappointed. It’s part of life and part of his developing social skills. Don’t be so hard on yourself!
