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eight to nine
Eight-year-olds' love to share their
viewpoint on just about any topic! You
can provide opportunities for self-esteem
building by talking to them and allowing
them to share their opinions. It feels
good to a child when you listen to what
they have to say! Knowing you care
about their opinion develops their
self-confidence and keeps the lines of
communication open. Very important!
Eight to nine year olds have a clearly
developed sense of self-worth and may
talk about feeling frustrated with other
children that they perceive are weaker
than them. (Children who can't read
as well, do as well in math, sports, etc.)
It's very important to talk to your child
about the differences in people and help
them to be more accepting, less critical
and not beome judgmental of others!
These behaviors can lead to bullying!
At this age, they have a stong need for
love and understanding, especially from
their mother. They can be cheerful,
helpful and pleasant as well as bossy,
rude and sensitive. They may become
more dramatic and overly sensitive to the
slightest comment. Their emotions can
change quickly! Beware!
The eight to nine year old begins to
understand the concept of hiding their
emotions and will show different kinds
of coping strategies to deal with
challenging situations. They still rely on
adults for a sense of security but are
very proud of their own independence
and will definitely want to show it! If a
situation is extremely stressful for them,
they will look for an adult to help but in
less direct ways than when they were
younger. They don't usually want you
to solve their problem by intervening for
them, because it will just embarrass them.
They usually want you to help with
suggestions of how they can handle it
on their own.
They enjoy having the opportunity to
solve problems independently. Their ability
to concentrate on a variety of tasks
increases and they begin to try to solve
problems on their own before looking for
an adult to help them.
Eight year olds are usually much more
extroverted! They are interested in
seeing more people, places and things!
Exposure to new opportunities such as
belonging to groups, clubs, visiting
museums, attending concerts, etc. are
all experiences for growth and developing
more confidence. Allow your child to
experience as much as he can but be
reasonable! Don't overload them with
activities every day! Kids need time to
be at home with their parents too.
Their need for "down time" isn't much
different from yours!
social and emotional
Your eight to nine year old will strongly
evaluate herself against the standards of
peers, parents and teachers. A child will
feel inadequate if their personal standards
do not measure up to their "perceived"
standards of others. It's important
to provide opportunities for your child
to succeed at something that she is good
at doing! This success will help to build
confidence. Help your child to understand
that not everyone is good at everything!
Point out different abilities of your own
siblings, spouse or friends. It's easier
for them to understand those differences
than to compare them to their friends.
Eight year old's often have high expectations
of themselves and need both parent's and
teacher's help to give them more realistic and
attainable goals.
Peer pressure is very strong at this age!
It's the reason why trends in things like
clothes, computer games and TV shows
catch on so quickly! Your child may even
say that she loves things that her best
friend loves, even though the day before it
didn't matter to her!
Peer influence is here to stay! As difficult
as it is at times, this is an important time
for your child to learn to navigate social
relationships and fit in.
This doesn't mean that you aren't going
to teach your child the importance of
developing a strong sense of self! But
the skills of "fitting in" to some degree
help a child as they are growing and into
adulthood.
Give your child positive reinforcement
about her likes and dislikes and her skills
and abilities. Let her know that it's okay
to be different in some ways from her
friends, and show her that different
people like different things.
Children in this age group are frequently
self-conscious. If your child has any
"differences", (wearing glasses, left
handed,learning difficulties, freckles, etc.),
they aren't usually aren't that bothered by
it (unless someone has teased them.) It's
important to nurture self-acceptance now
before they begin to become concerned
about the differences..
areas of concern:
* Excessive concerns about competition
and performance (especially in school)
*extreme defiance or rebellion
* headaches
* nervous stomach
* procrastination
* over dependence on caregivers for
age appropriate tasks (combing hair,
getting dressed, tying shoes, etc.
* lack of friendships
* poor social skills
* lying
* bed wetting
and performance (especially in school)
*extreme defiance or rebellion
* headaches
* nervous stomach
* procrastination
* over dependence on caregivers for
age appropriate tasks (combing hair,
getting dressed, tying shoes, etc.
* lack of friendships
* poor social skills
* lying
* bed wetting
THIRD GRADE
Social Changes
Eight-year-olds have a greater need to
be liked by peers. They have a better
capacity to express thoughts and feelings
and have a stronger sense of right and
wrong. All of these areas strongly
impact their behavior!
Third graders are gaining confidence,
making their own decisions, and figuring
out where they fit within their school
community.
This is the age of the "best friend". At
previous ages, they used the "best friend"
term to describe many of their friends, but
now you may see them spending time with
one friend. They will still have many
friends but many of their activities will be
ones where their best friend is always
involved.
This age can present challenges for
parents, who frequently see their child
listening more intently to his friends than
to his family!
If things have been fairly "easy" for your
child academically, this is the year that
things can become more difficult. Your
child may just think that schoolwork and
homework is interfering with her social
time!
Eight year olds don't like to be bossed
around! Their stronger sense of self has
caused this change. Parents who use an
authoritative style will experience more
sullenness and resentment. This is not
to say that you allow them to makes the
rules! But more subtle cues and
reminders will give you a better response.
Remember too, that this age wants later
bedtimes and special privileges. Use this
to your advantage and things will go more
smoothly! Use the "If your room is
cleaned up by (a certain time), then you
will be able to (watch a favorite TV show,
stay up 15 minutes later, etc.). No
negotiating. This is not to
be said in a threatening tone, "If you
don't do....etc." Just make a statement
about what you expect. This will work
more positively for both of you! This
also continues to develop your child's
sense of responsibility and she will
also learn the consequences of her
actions--both positively and negatively!
It's common for your third grader to
create her own private world with a best
friend or a small group of friends. This
comes equipped with "inside jokes" that
mean nothing to parents! The silliness
may often increase at this age due to
her broadening understanding of life and
her own interpretations of it. Expect
some bigger "potty" jokes too!
Friendships are usually on the top of their
priority list. They may shut out their
parents or want to tell you every detail
of their life! While they often love to
monopolize conversation, just know
that it's normal for the self-centeredness
to be at an all-time high!
All of this is just part of growing up. It’s
difficult for parents to feel like they’re on
the outside of their child's world but it's
just part of the transition into third grade.
Enjoy this time and watch your child
blossom! That wonderful feeling of pride
may just make the feeling of frustration
of being an outsider, just a little easier!
Eight-year-olds have a greater need to
be liked by peers. They have a better
capacity to express thoughts and feelings
and have a stronger sense of right and
wrong. All of these areas strongly
impact their behavior!
Third graders are gaining confidence,
making their own decisions, and figuring
out where they fit within their school
community.
This is the age of the "best friend". At
previous ages, they used the "best friend"
term to describe many of their friends, but
now you may see them spending time with
one friend. They will still have many
friends but many of their activities will be
ones where their best friend is always
involved.
This age can present challenges for
parents, who frequently see their child
listening more intently to his friends than
to his family!
If things have been fairly "easy" for your
child academically, this is the year that
things can become more difficult. Your
child may just think that schoolwork and
homework is interfering with her social
time!
Eight year olds don't like to be bossed
around! Their stronger sense of self has
caused this change. Parents who use an
authoritative style will experience more
sullenness and resentment. This is not
to say that you allow them to makes the
rules! But more subtle cues and
reminders will give you a better response.
Remember too, that this age wants later
bedtimes and special privileges. Use this
to your advantage and things will go more
smoothly! Use the "If your room is
cleaned up by (a certain time), then you
will be able to (watch a favorite TV show,
stay up 15 minutes later, etc.). No
negotiating. This is not to
be said in a threatening tone, "If you
don't do....etc." Just make a statement
about what you expect. This will work
more positively for both of you! This
also continues to develop your child's
sense of responsibility and she will
also learn the consequences of her
actions--both positively and negatively!
It's common for your third grader to
create her own private world with a best
friend or a small group of friends. This
comes equipped with "inside jokes" that
mean nothing to parents! The silliness
may often increase at this age due to
her broadening understanding of life and
her own interpretations of it. Expect
some bigger "potty" jokes too!
Friendships are usually on the top of their
priority list. They may shut out their
parents or want to tell you every detail
of their life! While they often love to
monopolize conversation, just know
that it's normal for the self-centeredness
to be at an all-time high!
All of this is just part of growing up. It’s
difficult for parents to feel like they’re on
the outside of their child's world but it's
just part of the transition into third grade.
Enjoy this time and watch your child
blossom! That wonderful feeling of pride
may just make the feeling of frustration
of being an outsider, just a little easier!
